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On Jun. 27, 2002 at 9:49 a.m., I wanted to sing:

Jewel: Near you always

Please don't say I love you
Those words touch me much too deeply
And they make my core tremble
Don't think you realize the power you have over me
And please don't come so close

It just makes me want to make you near me always

Please don't kiss me so sweet
It makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow
And please don't touch me like that
Makes every other embrace seem pale and shallow
Please don't look at me like that
It just makes me want to make you near me always

Please don't send me flowers
They only whisper the sweet things you'd say
Don't try to understand me
Your hands already know too much anyway

It just makes me want to make you near me always

And when you look in my eyes
Please know my heart is in your hands
It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms
You have complete power over me
So be gentle if you please, 'cause

Your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth, babe
And it makes me want to make you near me always

I want to be near you always
I want to be near you always
I want to be near you always



The song I was quoting from yesterday on poorpoetry.


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On Jun. 26, 2002 at 3:57 p.m., I wanted to sing:

Red Hot Chili Peppers: Californication

Psychic spies from China
Try to steal your mind elation
Little girls from Sweden
Dream of silver screen quotations
And if you want these kind of dreams
Its Californication

It's the edge of the world
And all of western civilization
The sun may rise in the east
At least it settles in a final location
It's understood that Hollywood
Sells Californication

Pay your surgeon very well
To break the spell of aging
Celebrity skin is this your chin
Or is it war your waging

First born unicorn
Hard core soft porn
Dream of Californication
Dream of Cailfornication

Marry me girl be the fairy to my world
Be my very own constellation
A teenage bride with a baby inside
Getting high on information
And buy me a star on the boulevard
It's Californication

Space may be the final frontier
But it's made in a Hollywood basement
Cobain can you hear the spheres
Singing songs off station to station
And Alderaan's not far away
It's Californication

Born and raised by those who praise
Control of population everybody's been there and
I don't mean on vacation

First born unicorn
Hard core soft porn
Dream of Californication
Dream of Cailfornication
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication

Destruction leads to a very rough road
But it also breeds creation
And earthquakes are to a girl's guitar
They are just another good vibration
And tidal waves couldn't save the world
From Califonication

Pay your surgeon very well
To break the spell of aging
Sicker then the rest
There is no test
But this is what you're craving

First born unicorn
Hard core soft porn
Dream of Californication
Dream of Cailfornication
Dream of Californication
Dream of Californication




But I won't be there for even 24 hours.. still, an adventure


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On Jun. 25, 2002 at 1:01 a.m., I wanted to sing:

Caroline's Spine: Million Years

it's about time i got a little serious
maybe not about my life
but what you mean to me
it's about time i said something sincere... my dear

why do you respond to questions of ridicule about your past?
why do you dry the tears so fast to make sure
i don't see that i've hurt you again... my friend

no, i would never desert you
and i could never deserve you
in a million years

it's about time you question my authority
on issues of honesty
although, i know i believe in you
i can't believe that you still believe in me

no, i would never desert you
and i could never deserve you
in a million years

why do you wait for my wandering mind
with the patience of a person twice your age?
is it that you've found the answer
to questions i haven't even tripped on yet?
please... do not forget

no, i would never desert you
and i could never deserve you
in a million years



I don't really have a reason for this song. It's just running through my head, and has been for a long time. It probably has significance that I don't feel like exploring; it's 1 am.

Okay, so the chorus could easily have meaning... I still often feel inadequate and undeserving. Though usually now it's not that I deserve *nothing*, that I'm worthless... but that what I get is more than I do deserve.

*shrugs*


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On Jun. 17, 2002 at 9:22 a.m., I wanted to sing:

Jewel: Sometimes it be that way

Night with its shattered teeth attempts to speak
My pen is present but courage left via the sink
And I'm sorry I snuck up on you from behind
I'm sorry not all my love letters did rhyme
And I'm sorry that Jesus died for my sins
And I swear to God it won't happen again
And I'm sorry if it was my swerve that tempted you to sway
Oh well, sometimes it be that way

And Romeo was a very nice man
He said "Jewel, I don't think you quite understand"
And I'm sorry if you had to explain it like this
I'm sorry I was a point you were destined to miss
And I'm sorry I spoke to you irreverently
Down in the hollow by the old olive tree
And I'm sorry if my heart breaking ruined your day
Oh well, sometimes It be that way

I said "Oh well, I got nothing left to sell
This love was a bell that rang unheard in the air
I was bound to find out that you didn't care
Oh well, sometimes it be that way

And Aphrodite with her neon lamp
Kissed Neptune they put her face on a stamp
And I'm sorry I used it to mail a letter to you
I'm sorry I'm glue and the rest bounces off of you
And I'm sorry not even this jet's metal wings
Could get across these simple things
And I'm sorry if I ever sang your name in vain
Oh well, sometimes it be that way

And Goldilocks, well she knew three bears
They all ate oatmeal and tiptoed upstairs
And I'm sorry I never got to find you like this
Sleeping like a baby and swaddled in bliss
And I'm sorry for all the times
I forgot to imply something in between the lines
And i'm sorry if my heart breaking ruined your day
Oh well, sometimes it be that way

I said "Oh well, I got nothing left to sell
This love was a bell that rang unheard in the air
I was bound to find out that you didn't care
Oh well, sometimes it be that way

And shadow's long fingers they dance on the wall
Electricity chases its tail in the hall
And I'm sorry if my arms to you were just empty rooms
I'm sorry I never could comfort you
And I'm sorry St. Petersburg is a miserable town
And I'm sorry if I am bringing you down
And I'm sorry if I caused you pain
Oh well, sometimes it be that way

And flame licks the air with its silver tongue
Night has many hands but I have just one
And I'm sorry I walked in on you unexpectedly
I'm sorry I didn't serve you both Camomile tea
And I'm sorry I didn't always have a match
That could start a fire big enough for your heart to catch
And I'm sorry if it was my swerve that tempted you to sway
Oh well, sometimes it be that way



I know I've posted this before... I guess it's just all the sorries that make me think of it today.

I was originally thinking of Tara when a few lines of the song entered my head, but looking at the lyrics, there are many that apply to other people as well, and some that don't apply at all.

*shrugs*

backward :: forward

Nickel Creek: When You Come Back Down

Semisonic: Chemistry

Joe Nichols: Tequila makes her clothes fall off

Five For Fighting: 100 Years

Savage Garden: Crash and Burn

past :: present :: profile :: notes :: diaryland